Brookwood School Headmaster Mike Notaro, right, introduces Melba Richardson to two different audiences -- teachers and parents -- to explore the topic of "Positive Parenting."
THOMASVILLE - Since they don't hand out guidebooks on parenting when children are born and since parents don't need a license to give birth, learning to be good parents takes initiative, especially considering current technology and challenges in raising children.
Brookwood School teachers and parents heard from Melba Richardson on Oct. 5 about new perspectives on parenting today. The faculty members discussed their challenges with parents during Richardson's afternoon session, and parents attended an evening presentation.
Richardson, head of the St. James School in Montgomery, Ala., a longtime colleague of Brookwood School Headmaster Mike Notaro, provided examples of topics parents must now deal with that were not addressed a decade ago. For example, she invited lawyers to her independent K-12 school this year to talk to 5th through 12th graders about the current problem of "sexting." Defined as "the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photos electronically, primarily between cell phones," sexting is considered a felony in the state of Alabama, where her school is located. (In Georgia, sexting can result in charges of criminal solicitation and corruption of a minor, in addition to possession of child pornography.)
Richardson doesn't think students need computers in their rooms at home - or anywhere that keeps parents from monitoring what's on a computer when the student is using it.
She told parents at the evening session, "Be your child's parent, not his buddy."
Another of Richardson's lessons: "Provide the basic needs for your children and teach them that anything beyond that is privilege. This teaches a strong work ethic, responsibility, and an appreciation for the blessings we have."
Richardson sees grades inflated at schools all around the country. Today's "C," for instance, is often the equivalent of what used to be an "F, " she offered, as an example of student grades that truly don't reflect learning and achievement in many classrooms. These days, students often argue with teachers and expect extra credit, which Richardson opposes.
"Parents' greatest gift to their children is love and independence," Richardson said. "Children need to solve their own problems."
Often parents, who might be angry because they know part of a problem - the part their child tells them - start at the top when voicing their complaints. Instead of communicating directly with a teacher, department chair or guidance counselor, a parent may instead go directly to a principal or headmaster or even a board member with a complaint.
"Making them follow the process really does make a difference," Richardson told both audiences. In her school's handbook, as well as in Brookwood's, that process is clearly explained, so that parents know they must begin by first questioning the person closest to the student's problem.
She also warned about excessive or lengthy e-mail messages between parents and school employees concerning a conflict.
"It's best to pick up the phone and talk in person rather than exchanging a lot of e-mails," she advised.
Parents and teachers left with Richardson's handouts to help them further understand the challenges to today's parents, as well as the challenges faculty members have in dealing with those parents and their offspring.
Notaro said that any parents in the community interested in receiving a copy of Richardson's material provided to the parents in the audience are welcome to pick up the handout in Brookwood's main office in the Flowers building at the school on Cardinal Ridge Road. Telephone 226-8070.
